|Yet another chat.
||[Nov. 23rd, 2006|07:57 pm]
|||||Nature Boy, performed by Kurt Elling||]|
This one starts as Jack and David instant messaging, and morphs into a telephone conversation. Entirely RPed. The only warnings are for chat speak, because Jack is a bad person.
Jack says: daivd r u on the comp?
David says: Yes, Jack. I am.
Jack says: what r u doin?
David says: Writing my lesson plans for tomorrow. What are you up to?
Jack says: nuthin. waiting 4 u.
David says: Oh. Sorry to keep you waiting, I'll be done here soon.
Jack says: sooooo...what r u wearing? ;p
David says: The least sexy thing you can imagine.
Jack says: u look sexy in everything.
David says: Well... thank you. I think. But at the moment, I'm working.
Jack says: so m i.
Jack says: copyediting my article
David says: Then why are you chatting? And using bad grammar? Shouldn't you be using good grammar, in order to have it in your head?
Jack says: i dont need 2 use it here. im just that good.
David says: Of course you are, love.
Jack says: if u no what i mean. ;)
David says: Very funny. Really, you're distracting me. I need to finish this.
Jack says: no u dont. do it 2morrow.
David says: No, tomorrow I have to teach it. And isn't you article due soon?
David says: *your
Jack says: friday. plenty of time.
David says: Jack, love of my life... do you know what day it is today?
Jack says: ...no. y?
David says: Darling, it's Thursday.
Jack says: ...
Jack says: ...
Jack says: whut?
David says: Yes. Today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday.
Jack says: friday the what?
David says: It doesn't matter. You have an article due EVERY Friday.
David says: But the 24th, in case you were wondering.
Jack says: shit.
Jack says: u sure?
David says: Yes, love. I'm sure. There's a calendar in the Kitchen with all of your deadlines marked.
*ten minutes later*
Jack says: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
David says: I'm sorry, love.
Jack says: will they let me rerun the rapp interview?
David says: Something tells me they won't. Are you really that far behind?
Jack says: ...no?
David says: That was very convincing.
Jack says: i m very convincing?
David says: Not so much. I'll be home soon, do you want help?
Jack says: no i got it. Matt will help me!
David says: Ah. Certainly, a five year old will be very helpful.
Jack says: yes. hes got alot of talent.
David says: Yes. But I'm thinking grammar at the level of a professional journalist is not one of those talents.
Jack says: u dont no that 4 sure!
David says: You're right. Do you want to go ask him? You could do that while I go run my copies.
Jack says: but i wanna talk 2 u
David says: Jack, the puppy eyes don't work on me. Especially cyber puppy eyes. The sooner I make these copies, the sooner I can come home.
David says: ... Hello?
David says: ... Jack?
Jack says: uh, stay at school dave. everythings fine here so just go have dinner somewhere & come back later.
David says: Jack Kelly, what has happened? Is my baby alright? What happened to him? Is he sick? Did he hurt himself? Tell me, Jack!
Jack says: no, nothing happened everythings fine i said. just relax. do your work, bye!
Jack says: *Jack has logged off*
David Voice mail #1: Jack? Jack! Jack, stop screening your calls. You probably heard the ringtone, and didn't pick up. Call me back!
David Voice mail #2: JACK. Dammit. Pick up the phone. What's going on? Is Matt hurt? You're making me worry! You know you hate it when I worry. *pause* Call me back.
David Voice mail #3: FRANCIS JONATHAN SULLIVAN YOU CALL ME BACK THIS INSTANT. IF MY SON IS SICK OR HURT OR MISSING OR KIDNAPPED I DESERVE TO KNOW. AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU HAVE JUST RUINED ANY CHANCES OF GETTING LAID FOR THE NEXT MONTH. CALL ME BACK, OR... OR ELSE!
Jack says: "Yeah, the whole Francis thing lost you out for two months, by the way."
David says: "Fine. See if I care. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BABY?"
Jack says: "Nothing. You worry too much, Davy."
David says: "I worry too much. I WORRY too much? You disappeared! After a long pause! Very suspiciously! When you were alone in the house with Matt! And then you logged off! What's going on?
Jack says: "Nothing, nothing. You weren't that attached to the kid, right?"
Jack says: "Dave?"
Jack says: "David?"
David says: "I think you had better tell me what's going on right now. Notice, I am being calm. Please attempt to preserve this calm, or I might be forced to kill you."
Jack says: "Look! It's Matt! Say hi, Matt!"
Matt says: "Hi Papa! I broke the spaghetti sauce jar and it's everywhere, isn't that COOL?"
David says: *takes a very deep breath, trying not to cry* "Well, it's not cool, because I'm sure it made a mess. Are you helping your Daddy clean it up?"
Jack says: *in the background:* "Matt, kiddo, he can't hear you nodding."
Matt says: "Yes. There was glass, too, but Daddy made me leave so he could clean that himself."
David says: "Well, that's good. Do you think you could possibly put your Daddy back on the phone? I love you, though, kiddo, and I'll see you soon."
Matt says: "Mmmkay. Love you Papa!"
Jack says: "See? Nothing happened to him, David."
David says: "And for all of that nothing? You get no sex until he's sixteen."
Jack says: "Daaaaaaaaavid...!"
David says: "Don't whine in front of Matt, you don't want to encourage him."
Jack says: "I ain't whining."
David says: "Am not, Jack, for the millionth time, am not. I'm going to hang up now, before I explode, go make my copies, and come home so I can hug my son. Bye."
Jack says: "Yeah, but--"
Jack Voice mail #1: David, come on. Aren't you too mature for revenge like this? Pick up. You know it's me. Davy? ... Aww, come on, it was a JOKE. It was FUNNY. It's not like something actually happened! You know I'm a good parent. David. ... You are way too uptight, you know that, right? ... I love you?”
David says: "Hi."
Jack says: "David! Come on, I was kidding. You know I'd never let anything happen to Matt, right?"
David says: "I know. But you know how worried I get. It wasn't funny. I was seriously worried."
Jack says: "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
David says: "I would love to believe that, really I would. But you spent too much time with Race, growing up. I'm seriously stressed here, Jack."
Jack says: "No, really, I'm sorry. Look, don't worry about dinner. I'll make it. For the next week. No, month! And give you massages, and do your school work for you, and...and teach your classes and have tea with your mother and take care of Matt and run baths for you, and anything you want, I swear."
David says: *sighs* "That's going a little overboard, and you know it. But I might take you up on parts of that, the dinners and massages in particular. It's just --" *sighs again, obviously collecting himself* "I'm not too uptight Jack, it's just not funny."
Jack says: *mutters* "Was to me." *normal voice* "I'm sorry. You really need to relax a little, though. The world won't end if you're not there to oversee the sunrise."
David says: "I know, I know. Look, I really do have to make those copies. And I really do want come home. So, I love you, and I'll see you in about half an hour, alright?"
Jack says: "All right. I love you. I'll...call the pizza place. You like mushrooms, right?"
David says: *laughs, just a little* "Yes. Yes, I do."
Jack says: "Knew it!"
David says: "Well done, love. See you later."
Jack says: "Bye. Love you!"